There is so much skill and knowledge needed to control something. But there are equal and opposite skills needed to surrender to something, and it is its own sophistication.
Control and surrender also create one another. A pilot can fly in the air, enjoying freedom from the earth and the exploration of the atmosphere.
But the pilot needs the air traffic controller on the ground to be running calculations that allow the pilot to explore great heights.
In the dominant culture, fun is often relegated to immediate gratification, passive entertainment, and cheap indulgences. But can we imagine a way that fun is deep? That having fun can be something to practice, to imbue with depth, to prolong?
Likewise, the dominant culture often views suffering as wholly negative. But there are many different ways that people approach and experience suffering, could we say that it's important to learn to suffer well?
In a macabre thought experiment, you might consider the relationship between a person who murders and the person who is murdered. This is a defining feature of these relationships, and an epic element of relationality. There must be a specific horror to discovering oneself to be a murderer of someone, just as there is a specific horror to discovering you are that person's victim.